It has been 2 years since I discovered with absolute certainty that my biological father is not my father. It has been one year that I learned the truth of who my biological father actually was (he is deceased). It has been a long 8-year journey of questioning family, friends and acquaintances and I have not even touched the “tip of the iceberg”. The people I have approached have shown embarrassment, anger or avoidance but, I am not embarrassed, ashamed, angry or willing to avoid the truth.
There are also those that have shown me an immense amount of love, grace and openness and, for that, I will be forever thankful. There is no harm in opening your arms and heart to a stranger. Perhaps you will learn that you are a great deal alike and even find that you love them just as if they had always been in your life. I am not a “dirty little secret”. I am a human being that has had something thrown at them that they never expected to happen. In hearing my story over time, I hope you can look at these types of situations in an entirely different light and that you learn from my experience along with my friends that allow me to share their story too.
Those of us learning that we have Non-Parents Expected are called NPEs. An NPE is usually an adult, through DNA testing, has discovered that at least one assumed parent is not their biological parent. As I mentioned, this past year I was finally successful in obtaining tidbits of the truth surrounding my conception. It opened my world with answers concerning some of the confusion that has always been in the back of my mind but could never put my finger on it. I am unable to explain in the appropriate words the amazing feeling of peace I now have in actually knowing that I am not Crazy. The nudging at the back of my mind for the last 58 years is REAL!
It would delight me if you joined me in learning more about those of us that have discovered our heritage and family through DNA testing such as 23andMe and Ancestry.com. Both testing programs have brought insights and assisted me in finding the truth. I am the same person after learning this news and no one can take that away from me. It is nice to meet you! I Am Lezlee
So great to have met you and your husband through the Van Cliburn this year. I hope you will continue as most experiences with these talented musicians are absolutely a blessing.
I received your invites and thought I better jot them down before time passes and I forget. So I’m discovering you are not only beautiful inside and out but a writer and artist!! So not fair! LOL.
Looking at your website also reminds me that these types of experiences are far too common these days. A few years back my 80-year-old mom discovered a half-brother and sister she never knew about. Sadly being raised an only, lonely, child things could have been so different for her if she had found out sooner. The other siblings were grateful to discover the abusive man was not their biological father as they had long hoped.
Hope to see you on the 29th of November.
Becky & Greg Haskin
PS I have always believed, “Blood is never thicker than water!”
Becky, thank you for your kind words and I apologize for my delay in responding. It has been a bit of a task getting all of this “Launched”. It was such a delight to get to know you and Greg during the Cliburn celebrations! And you are correct these situations are becoming more and more common and there are those of us out there that are surprised, thrilled and at times disappointed with these discoveries in our lives. Your Mom could have known a different family and had a different outcome in life (even though the life she had was probably wonderful). For me it really is about learning more about another family and not carrying resentment toward the wonderful parents that raised me. BTW my mom was really the only person that truly knew the truth. My stepdad raised me and was an awesome man and it is just one of the many reasons that I share your sentiment that “Blood is Never Thicker than Water”. Love is the Key and however that presents itself in our lives is how we should accept it. I hope by telling my story and sharing other peoples’ stories (like your mom) that it will help the next person in their journey. Big Hugs to you and your family!